Have you ever felt like working but found yourself never doing enough?
If the answer is yes, we are in the same boat! No matter how much I work, at the end of the day I feel like I could have done more or better. One day I sat down, closed my eyes and observed all these uncomfortable thoughts. I asked myself WHY I feel this way and many answers came up. I realised:
I was comparing myself to other people
I am very hard on myself
I don't congratulate myself enough, even when I achieve things that I wouldn't have done a year ago
Most importantly I realised that no matter how much I meditate and how many reminders I have on my phone to be mindful, sometimes I forget. This makes me like a donkey who runs after a dangling carrot to exhaustion.
This was my “aha moment”. I said to myself, “Marianiki stop! Wtf are you doing? Breathe in/ Breath out and pause. You don't need the bloody carrot. You have yours for now.” I gave myself a hug and a good talking to in my head. I apologised to myself for being so harsh to me! I’d never be so harsh to a friend, so why was I treating myself this way?
After this thought some self-compassion occurred and since i had brought awareness and i accepted what i did wrong… now was time to change the pattern. Right?
But patterns don't change overnight! So I set a goal! The goal was to be more kind to myself, say well done to myself more and pause. It's very important to pause actually. If you feel like you don't pause, close your eyes, take a few breaths and check what your goal is. After this check the action you take in order to achieve this goal. Once this is done you will have the answer if your goal and your action are aligned.
If they are aligned, happy days! Tap yourself on the shoulder and keep up the hard work while you embrace your self-compassion.
However, if your actions and your goal are not aligned THAT'S OK! Just take a paper and write:
what your goal is
what your “why” is to achieve it and
reorganise that action that you have to take to make it happen
Either way, don't forget the importance of living in the moment and appreciate your journey because it's unique. Some other things to consider while you are looking for your answers:
1) Focus on your progress and not on perfection. Nothing and nobody is perfect
2) Don’t beat yourself up for your mistakes. Mistakes are our teachers
3) Enjoy the journey towards your destination. This is where you grow, develop, and learn more about yourself.
That's all for today! Thanks for reading until the end. I deeply appreciate you for this
Love & Gratitude Marianiki